SOUTH AMERICA VS EUROPE SPRINT RACE CHALLENGE On your marks, get set, go! Oh no!
This is my penalty run not my sprint run! Full speed ahead! Can’t go on… This shirt, it just weighs too heavy on me. 72m! A new PB! Yes! This is even easier than winning the Champions League! Holy testicles! Go! Go! Go! ROMALDO WINS: 1 POINT TO EUROPE And yes the old lady gave her consent before I mounted her! POINT TO EUROPE DRAG RACE CHALLENGE Messi is first on the grid… Followed by Kane in what appears to be a half-finished car… Suarez’s car also doesn’t look anywhere near the finished article… Whereas Lewy has a monster truck… Neymar appears to be in a cannon, He’ll be hoping that doesn’t backfire. Unlike his move to PSG! What? And here comes Ronaldo… What the hell?! Oh my god, what a time to go transgender… I’m not transgender! I just misunderstood what drag race meant! And it’s GO! GO! GO! This is why I won’t be at Spurs next season… Messi takes an early lead for South America… But his booster seat is gone gone gone! And Messi crashes out early once again
in a major tournament! I knew I should have worn my Barcelona kit… Lewy takes the lead for Europe!
But here comes Suarez! Hey Robert, let me win and I’ll give you this Real Madrid contract you’ve chased so long. I’ll be taking that! No! I’m a genius! And Suarez takes the chequered flag and the point for Soth America! These heels are killing me! I sound like gareth bale! POINT TO SOUTH AMERICA TROPHY CHALLENGE POINT TO SOUTH AMERICA The lack of trophies is why I won’t be playing for Spurs next season. Hey Neymar, where are your trophies from France? No-one cares about them, the lack of respect for French trophies is why I won’t be playing for PSG next season. Hold on a minute. Shouldn’t this be international trophies?! Cut! GOOD POINT DRAW! The lack of trophies is why I won’t be playing for Argentina next season. 2 – 2 CROSSBAR CHALLENGE This is going to be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy! What are you doing Harold? The points are ours! I can stand on a crossbar for at least 30 seconds. Have you not seen my advert? The crossbar challenge is where you shoot a ball from halfway and try to hit the crossbar… Like that! Damn you Harold! Hey Lionel, 100 Euros if you hit the meathead from here… Easy! Have you not seen my drinks adverts? I think I’ve broken a bone… I told you to wear your Barcelona kit… POINT TO SOUTH AMERICA GOAL CELEBRATION CHALLENGE BEGIN! Get your own celebration, Neymar! F*** you! The best goal celebration is awarded to… The person with the most goals! OK, POINT TO EUROPE! What? Go f*** yourselves! POINT DEDUCTED FOR THE POTTYMOUTH What? Go f… Shut up Neymar! POINT FOR SOUTH AMERICA What? For punching Neymar! AND THE FINAL ROUND:
JAPANESE POLE BALANCE CHALLENGE The shirt just weighs too heavy on me… Yes! Bye bye, Messi! Come on! So much for being Polish! Yes! POINT TO EUROPE! Can we stop now? SCRAP THAT – POINT TO SOUTH AMERICA Argentinian traitor! AND THE FINAL SCORE:
SOUTH AMERICA 4-3 EUROPE The moral of the story is, all good things come to those… who punch Neymar